Every Weary Soul Finds Rest Here
This year, I have been so excited for Christmas. Last year, I was hunkered down with Ella. A Christmas in the trenches of a new adoption was hard. After the year and especially last few months, I was ready for a magical, fun and sweet season. As you can probably imagine from this setup, it hasn’t quite been what I hoped for. Ella has been struggling emotionally at times as we pass through this one year anniversary of significant trauma for her. We had spent time in ER’s, an ambulance and hospitals with Kai. He is so much better, but has required special precautions and follow ups because of his risk. COVID hit our family with all of its isolation, decisions and unknowns. Quarantines for the sick and even longer for those of us who never tested positive. Our boys, especially disappointed to miss out on traditions, school activities, Christmas concerts, family time and experiences. Breaking bad news, dealing with big emotions, zero quiet, explaining for the 1000th time why we can’t go secret Santa shopping at the store and why we can’t see cousins or grandparents wasn’t the magic I hoped for. My patience has been thin, my gratitude has been low, my disappointment has soured my attitude some days. I’m exhausted. Not from the exciting activities and Christmas magic, but from long days of the same and a tough end to a tough year.
All of these things that have exhausted and overwhelmed me, left me feeling bruised and discouraged and alone are actually the ultimate setting for Christmas. If I wasn’t broken, I wouldn’t need the Savior. If I wasn’t lost, I wouldn’t need the Good Shepherd. If I wasn’t weak, I wouldn’t need the Mighty God. If I wasn’t confused, I wouldn’t need the Wonderful Counselor. If I wasn’t anxious, I wouldn’t need the Prince of Peace. I wasn’t sinful and broken, I wouldn’t need the gentle and lowly Emmanuel. Maybe this is the perfect setting for Christmas. I’m desperate for Jesus. This season can hold so many wonderful things that can be so distracting. Maybe the loss of some of these things is just what my weary soul needs. Whatever sorrow, grief, sickness, struggle or loss or sin we face, Jesus came. The long, dark wait ended and God’s plan of redemption continued. He is with us now. He is all that we need.