He is Worth it, Even When We Can't See
Last week, I was driving home from a specialist appointment in Philly with one of the kids in tow. This isn’t so out of the norm for us, except the child with me was Asher. I’m usually taking these special trips with Kai, and for a time with Charlie with his growth challenges. He was gleefully enjoying a morning off school, with my full attention and toys and snacks beside him.
I was listening to an audio book by Jen Wilkin, “None Like Him: 10 Ways God is Different From Us”. There are so many ways that we want to be like God. We may not say it, but we often want to be unlimited in knowledge, unbound by time and abounding in power. Yet these are qualities reserved for God, and for good reason. As I listened to the qualities explained, my heart was inspired in awe of who God is and how He, in His goodness is at work in our lives.
When I arrived home, there was a package waiting for me. It was the Noonday Collection samples that were purchased for us as an adoption fundraiser. These items were all handmade by people who live around the world, in areas of extreme poverty. As I held the pieces made in India, tears streamed down my face. It was a piece of our son or daughter that I could touch. Men and women who are in the same poverty that likely caused our child to be given away made these with their hands.
I continued to open the pieces, reading stories of men and women who were fighting their own poverty with these creations. I opened the last box, a gold cross necklace. There was a name written on the box. The name of a woman from East Asia who was rescued from human trafficking. That woman assembled the necklace. Then I recalled hearing about many Chinese women who were rescued from human trafficking that were being given these dignified jobs. I held the cross and cried.
I thought of both of our adopted children. I thought of their birth mothers. We don’t even know the story of our Indian baby yet. Much of their stories, we will never know. I can’t help but feel the heaviness of the loss. Holding this jewelry gave me hope. Hope that we can make a difference. Hope that we can be part of a fight for people who can’t fight for themselves. Yet I realize this is a limited hope. I am very tangibly bound by constraints of time, lack of knowledge and limited resources.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed in the face of things you can’t control or problems you can’t fix. I love that we are adopting. We are changing the lives of two children in unimaginable ways. Yet, there are hundreds of millions of orphans around the world. I am impacting many communities through the jewelry and accessories I am selling with Noonday Collection, being a voice for the impoverished and taking a stand for the marginalized. But poverty, in India and around the world remains widespread.
Even in the small ways we are making a difference, through adoption, fundraising with Noonday, caring for our family, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and recognize my limitations. I don’t have all the resources, skills, knowledge or time that I think I need. I feel anxious and limited and overwhelmed. The adoption requires way more than I have. Ministry and parenting asks more than I can muster. The majority of our kids will need special care, sensitivities and resources that don’t really feel natural to me. Will I have what it takes?
Three truths filled my mind at just the right time, mostly from the book I mentioned above.
1. God is not limited in the ways I am. He will make everything beautiful. He will restore and redeem everything that is broken. The brokenness in my life and the lives of my children, will be made beautiful. The poverty and brokenness and loss and hopelessness all around the world will be restored. It may take more than my lifetime, but my unshakeable hope, is that if not in this lifetime, in eternity, we will see beauty for ashes.
2. God is the God of infinite sameness. Infinite sameness. In a world that is changing, with a family of people with ever changing needs and challenges, as a person with constantly changing thoughts and emotions, what tremendous comfort this brings. He is infinitely the same. That’s something we can rest in. My heart that's so easily overwhelmed can rest in that. I can rest in that for my children and the unknown of their futures. He is forever the same.
3. God is worth it. I have moments where I wonder why we are doing this. Moments when it feels really hard. Times when unique challenges arise, on top of this massive undertaking of another adoption. Times when my heart is tempted to wander, question, hope in other things. Times when I wonder why God would allow road blocks in the process, neediness, vulnerability, hardships for my kids. Because He is worthy. He is worthy of the sacrifice. He is worth it.
Where do you need to remember the truth of who God really is? With a child who is struggling, new needs or steps of faith that don’t make sense? In a time of suffering or seemingly unending battle with sin? Remember, He will make everything beautiful. It may not be in this lifetime, but it will come. God is infinitely the same. Never changing. He is worthy. Whatever it is. He. Is. Worth It.
This book is definitely worth a read!
If you want to learn more about Noonday Collection and how you can support our adoption, look here! https://laurawilson.noondaycollection.com