Here's a summary of some of my prayers the past few years:
God, I don't think I could ever endure infertility. Please don't allow that to be my reality.
He has allowed secondary inferility to be our reality for the past two and a half years.
God, I am not cut out to adopt. I could never do it.
He called us to adopt.
Okay, God, I'll adopt, but only from Africa.
He has called us to adopt from China.
I'm sure you've heard the saying, "We plan, God laughs." I actually see God's graciousness to me in that when we first had Asher and we were dreaming of what our future family might be, God didn't reveal his entire plan. I'm not sure I could have handled that! He has walked me step by step to reveal His plan. One thing I have learned, though, is to hold lightly to what seems to be "the plan." The stronger you hold onto Christ, the lighter you can hold to things of this life, even our plans.