Over the past few weeks, I have been asked to share our blog several times. It’s been awhile since I’ve spent much time there. As I scrolled through the posts, I was nudged to ask the Lord to restore my joy. When attachment and developmental progress are slow, it’s easy to lose the excitement. Discouragement and frustration have filled spaces that once glowed with anticipation and joy.
Today, I started a new, brief writing journey. Thirty-one days of noticing. Mainly an attempt to give myself an outlet, a spark, a break from the shadows of the past few months.
Today’s prompt, notice something that makes you smile. Sitting with Ella, we were playing with color blocks. We have been working for over six months on colors. She loves pink. But she calls it purple. She calls purple purple, too (and sometimes black and orange and green). It would be impossible to count the number of times, we remind her this is pink, that is purple. She can point to correct colors with some accuracy, but there’s a breakdown with her comprehension and speech.
Sadly, at times, my heart responds to her with frustration, short-sightedness, selfishness and irritation. Maybe her error is a little reminder to me of the challenge, the uncertainty of her path, maybe even the disappointment that more healing hasn’t happened. Maybe I think that if we could nail down some colors and move on, some of the bigger developmental, emotional and speech issues would improve too.
But today, God answered my prayer. Instead of feeling frustrated that for the one-hundredth time this week, I have reminded her that it’s pink. I stopped and pulled her close. I took a deep breath and smiled over her. I told her that is pink and she hugged me back and sweetly said, “oh!”
Take a deep breath, soak in the moments. Ask God to help you delight in who and what is around you. He can restore joy. He can grow your endurance and replace disappointment with delight. He can replace your frustrated and tired groans with sweet smiles. #exhalecreativity #exhalenoticewriting #dayone #notice #mademesmile