Showing Up

Showing up.

Why is showing up difficult?

I second guess if I belong. I fear I will stand out. I wonder if it’s worth the effort. Anxiety says it’s safer to stay back. It’s easier to turn inward. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I have nothing to contribute? At times, I feel too different from those I am with. The small talk can feel tiring. Dressing and corralling kids feels like more effort than it’s worth.

Maybe it’s the introvert in me. Maybe I am a home body. Maybe I prefer family time. Maybe it’s how I am wired or this season or my shortcomings. Maybe it’s insecurity or pride.

But, sometimes it’s hard to show up.

It’s easier to stay home from church. It requires effort to host community group. It is challenging to move towards others.

But there is value in showing up. Even when it’s hard.

Honest moment. Being a ministry family is hard at times, no question. But, one thing of many I am thankful for, I have to show up. Not in a legalistic kind of way. We miss Sundays at times. But, we can’t just leave because we don’t like something, we can’t quit community group because of a personality difference, we can’t stop showing up in the face of what’s hard. I think that this is a gift from the Lord. One of those gifts that is hard, but the best thing for you. I have the tendency to trust my feelings to tell me what is good. This gift of accountability keeps me pursuing commitment, showing up and allowing God to define what is good.

Showing up communicates value. Showing up in the face of all of the challenges matters.

It doesn’t always need to be rewarding. It doesn’t always need to feel good. You can bring your anxiety. You can come with shortcomings.

Keep showing up. Even— maybe especially on the Sundays you want to the least. Keep showing up when friendships feel more like effort than sweet and easy connection. Keep showing up. When community is slow to grow.

Showing up matters for you. Showing up matters for those around you. Showing up matters to God.

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